About Me

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Mom, writer-editor, dreamer, dog lover, wannabe traveller...yes probably me

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Pune was happily nuzzling under the monsoon some days ago. Lost in thought, on a luckily sunny morning, I was, as usual, staring into my collection of pots and plants that morning. Happy with the very green leaves and the bright red tomatoes that needed to be plucked, I turned to weed a particularly dense corner where my pink-red hibiscus and Kardal plants grew amicably with the Gladioli.

What is his problem I mumbled when I saw my regular guest, a perky tiny green and yellow sunbird, disturbed at my presence. Not wanting to irritate the little fellow who I knew visited that corner for the nectar from the Kardal (Canna indica) and Hibiscus, I moved to the far corner and continued my pottering. The smart fellow, I observed, was making frantic frequent trips to that corner of my garden and it wasn’t for food. Naturally intrigued, I kept watch.

His mission I soon happily realized was to build a nest in a fold of a kardal leaf. Through the day and over two more, he flew in and out, muttering sometimes quiet at others, sharp beak filled with bits of cotton and something I like to call twine.

Thus a nest was ready in a corner protected from the rain and from prying eyes as I discovered later. The Mrs okayd it and moved in. I never figured when the eggs were laid, but I knew they were when I saw my little friend flying in and out, fast as always, with insects in his beak.

I spent many minutes every single day staring at the nest hoping to see a teeny head pop out or at least hear a cheep. Rainy days and thundering nights came and went, but not a tweet did I hear nor a movement detect. With the days, my curiosity grew and I went closer and closer trying to squeak into their little home. Unfortunately, I never figured how many had hatched. For, every time I went to the nest there was not a squeak. And that with kids around, as you may know, is a tough call indeed.

I realized I would have to wait, albeit impatiently, till Mama and Dada decided it was time for the little ones to take flight. My wait was rewarded one overcast Sunday evening. Upset at Dadas persistent loud chirping, hoping he and his family were not being heckled, I snuck a look at the terrace. And somehow knew the time had come. I ran in and got Arin. Together we peered into the terrace trying to spot the little one. “There it is,” cried Arin and after all these anxious weeks of waiting, I couldn’t see it! “Where where where,” I cooed. “Just there mamma. He has almost no tail,” he replied. And there it was in the middle of the terrace, a scared tiny fluffy little-tail baby.

The chirping got more frantic as they saw us watching. Being a protective mom, of even their brood, I encouraged Arin to watch the flight sequence through the glass door to the terrace. Though the five-and-a-half-year-old was all dressed and ready to leave for football, this one of nature’s gifts was too much to deny, so mom and son continued to gaze adoringly on to the terrace. And discovered there was another chick. This one had no definition of a tail! And yet, with the shrill calling of its parents, it too was trying its feathers.

Delighted, both of us giggled at our discovery and continued tracking their every move. From the pots where their nest was to the curry leaf plant, the lemon tree (of which it looked like an extension) and the small railing made for the money plants, the babies were flapping furiously or then hopping.

The bulbul, nosey brat that he is, walked in to check out the commotion. Thankfully the pigeons stayed away and the mynahs observed only from a distance. The terror, for me, came in the form of crows. Worried sick that one of my family was to be picked up, I told my able footsoldier to shoo them away should they come close. Law of the jungle be damned.

With all the cheering and yelling from their parents, they learned to fly. Tomorrow, I’m hoping to see them, give them a little smile and to tell them they are welcome back with their grandkids, to nest, eat and rest.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Things that make you go hmmm

At twilight almost every evening that he was in Pune, the roly poly man would appear sure as the sun at my home. And on most evenings, hed take me for a mini walk - with me on his kadevar to the corner. A chocolate perhaps or just the walk was what we did to become best friends.
On the way back, we would unfailingly play He ahe ka tuza ghar?....where, he would point to all gates and ask me if that was my house. Bursting with giggles I would say no and he would say ok then it must be the next...
My favourite game with my favourite kaka - Khi - ravi tilak. I spent the most amazing, secure, fun evenings of my early childhood with him. He indulged me and I loved him. But then time changed and distance set in when we moved house and couldnt meet...till he came and cried like a baby at my dads death. the years flew faster and I became a mother...and khi kaka was buried at the back of my mind. Sadly, I never attempted to get in touch. I wish I had. He passed away.
As I thought and cocntinue to think about him, the way he was part of my family, I see a lacuna in my sons life. He doesnt have an elder aunt or uncle who dote on him like I was doted upon. He doesnt have any adult currently inclined to attempt to create a fantastic bond with him.
I was lucky. I had a bunch of kakas who would give their life to see me smile, hear me laugh and to watch me play and to teach me things while we played. Khi was the first among them.
but most children today dont have uncles like that... wake up people. Kids need us, just like we do them. I'm hoping arin gets luckier than I did.

whooosh...its a tsunami

You know they say everything changes overnight and you nod your head along in conversation? And then it actually changes overnight for you one happy morning and you know exactly what they are talking about. And then you become part of them. A them you strongly believed you will never ever have to belong to.

what happens next is steady stream of thoughts. A cascading gigantic waterfall of emotions which ends in a deep-dark whirlpool. And while you go round and round and round and round, who do you go to for help? who do you look at for support? where do you look for answers? what do you do to keep a straight face?

if you have seen a close one die, a friend lose her/his way or been cheated in any way, you will know how that feels. Many would have been told by the wise that time heals everything. Just give it time. I have decided to wait and watch.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Mama Mia

It comes straight from Abba - how can I resist him?

To start with, hes really cute, intelligent and extremely cuddluscious. Of course im prejudiced, im in love. I can (and do) spend hours with him eveyrday. We share beautiful moments-anger, frustration, irritation, hugs, kisses and lots of chatter (some bordering on gibberish). But that's the beauty of this relationship. And we love it.

It induces jealousy from certain quarters, but I have learnt to deal with it, its part of life. Of course being around him is not easy, for he makes me tear my hair in utter dispair with his ways but then, sigh, sigh sigh...I love him...way too much.

We fight and some mins later, we r back to being the best of friends. Somwthign like what I had when I was about 5.

Since he was born I have been telling myself that he will grow up, go out in the world, that I will have to let him go to let him grow. But its easier because what we have is ours forever. It will go through changes of many a degree but the strong love will remain constant.

That's one of the pleasures of being mom to Arin.

The others are when he smiles, sleeps, runs and shouts and scoots off on his zipper counting every single loop around the garden his biggest conquest of the moment.

Why would I resist him?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Why did Nayana Pujari die? Because she was a woman (which probably was her only disadvantage) in a hurry to reach home where her husband was waiting? Because she wanted to cook him a great meal, smile and spend a few quiet moments with him before she turned in for the night and woke up to another bright day?
Or is it because we are such an insensitive society that there are eyewitness to the atrocities committed on her?
The inhuman witnesses who turned a blind eye and deaf ear to the atrocities being committed on a woman are also to blame that Nayana is no more.
It pains me to think of her husband and family who have to live knowing how badly she died. Of her friends and colleagues who will miss a smiling face in their company. Of other women who travel to and from work after sunset.
Of course the offenders are to blame, but shouldn’t we the people be ready to take part responsibility for the society we have in some way shaped? We who look only in front like we have blinkers and ignore the screaming from the neighbours house-night after night, and we who overlook the Std IX kid we have seen smoking behind the building, we the uncles and aunties who disregard or even cover up the bullying child in the family as a person who is strengthening the younger ones to face the real world, We friends who don’t tell on our good friend’s cheating spouse and we the people who see a man beating a woman on the road.
And we the very people who know something is amiss in a car where a woman is being violently violated.
It doesn’t require an education for us to differentiate between right and wrong. It only requires a conscience. And that is where we are lacking, maybe that is where we have failed. Completely.
But, all is not lost. These terrible deaths have at least made us sit up and think. We could save another Nayana, if we all vow to change just a tiny bit.
I have made that change and told the parents of the 18 year old rash rider that he needs to wear a helmet and requires a strong warning. I have also encouraged my rickshawalla kaka not to spit on the road and I am trying to keep my husband’s temper from flying from behind the wheel.
What have you done? If you haven’t, start now. If you have, do some more. Immediately. Please.
Just the other day, it was 12.30 pm, I had bought my groceries from Food Bazaar which is at Central on the University Road in Pune. I was waiting at the bus stop just outside Central for a bus when the strangest thing happened.
A huge black car came in reverse and parked just behind the bus stop. Intending to board a bus that would come from behind the car, I had both eyes in that direction. Audaciously, the driver would blink his lights at my every glance. It continued and I disregarded it for over 15 mins. Finally he chose to drive away. Only to go ahead, close to Little Italy and wait. Now I was really irritated. I had two choices –ignore or react. I chose to ignore.
But the thoughts that rushed through my head were plenty. What if he had got down and tried to push me in? Or if he had “friends” along. I wouldn’t have been able to do much. And I doubt anybody would have come to my rescue. So I did -the next best thing-I took down his number – and called my husband who unfortunately wasn’t in the city. For a second I considered hopping into a rickshaw and going my way but then realised that would be plain stupid.
Theres a slightly lonely stretch before my home which in the event of “friends” would be dangerous. And hell if he did chose to follow me, id have lead him straight home.
Obviously waiting and going by bus would have been a better option. Thank god good sense prevailed.
In a little while he pulled his sorry ass big black car away. But there will be a time and day when im at the same place at the same time. I hope hes not going to get blatant, coz this time, I’m armed. You see, my safety is my responsibility and I take myself seriously, many a time.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

I know why

I have one very important question – WHY DOES HE NOT UNDERSTAND A NO?
I already know the answer- BECAUSE HE IS A CHILD.
Sigh…
The story to this recurring enlightenment goes thus:
Children are not allowed in hospitals. “Ok, so we will wait out,” I told Arin as I lead him away from the elevator towards the door so we could stand outside and he would have plenty of distractions to occupy himself.
“But I want to go. I want to go inside mamma,” he said. I told him children are not allowed so we will wait for Dada to get back. Also that I was not going because only big people were allowed.
So he howled and he began to kick the steps, found out that hurt so tried the railing and that hurt as well…smartly he moved to little plant patch and began kicking up dirt . All this mind you with tears streaming down his face and his voice rising higher and higher. Naturally, people around were staring at the bad mom who was not letting the little darling do what he wanted…If only they knew…
I had to get him away from the wet mud kicking activity so I tried very hard to pick him up-unsuccessfully-and settled instead on walking him six steps away. Of course he was howling louder. I asked him to keep quiet, shushd him, made him stand (coz he wouldn’t sit) and he kicked me and hit me.
I held his hands. I wouldn’t lose my temper, I reminded myself and called Kunal to come down asap.
Then I moved him six steps further and he howled louder and longer so I lost it I whacked him, hard.
That should have shut him up? No way. It added to the tempo. Hmmm… Time to summon all my strength and pick him up and struggle ahead.
The stares were penetrating more than before. The looks were getting angrier or more piteous. But what was I to do?
Got it! “Will you have chocolate?”
“No. I want to go in,” wahhhhh…continued Arin.
Huh. I had had absolutely enough. I called Kunal, “Come now. I am upto my gills. Can’t take more.” He of course said very calmly, buy him a juice or something….Hello? Preservatives, emulsifiers, added colours blah blah?
With Arin’s arm under mine, I marched all three feet something of him bawling like he was being whipped to the ice cream stall. “Will you have ice cream?”
“No. I want to go inside..waaaaaaaaahhhhh”
I bought a Vanilla cup and assured the salesman that the child was absolutely ok. “Its white ice cream. Open your mouth.”
And so the licks began. And everything was quiet. I wished very hard I had given him a proper licking to make him stop instead…
This was a bribe.
Corruption begins at home.